The Inaugural Daddy-Daughter Weekend

Posted on 2009-07-30 by

My nine year old daughter Anna and I are about to embark on an adventure together. For a few years now, I’ve thought it would be a good idea for daddy and daughter to just get away and spend time with each other. My hope is that it solidifies bonds that are likely to be strained in the unavoidable years of teenage drama ahead.

Now I’m just hoping we just get through the weekend!

It’s not that I’m really worried about it. We’re pretty close already. But without the distractions of her mother and brother, I’m going to be her only listening post. She likes to talk. A lot. Just one of many reasons she doesn’t have her own cell phone yet, and when she does, it’ll have to be an unlimited talk plan.

Seriously, this trip is very important and I hope it’s an annual event. We’re heading off to Atlanta to see the sites. With a City Pass in hand, we’re aiming to hit a natural history museum, the zoo, the aquarium and the World of Coke, not to mention a mandatory dinner at The Cheesecake Factory and a dip in the pool. It’s supposed to be fun and I believe that it will be.

But I’m also in the middle of reading Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters by Dr. Meg Meeker. Dave Ramsey recommended this book a few years ago, and I’m just now getting to it. Big mistake to wait two years! If you have daughters, you need to read this book (moms and dads both). I’m amazed at what I’m learning about my daughter and how her mind works, while simultaneously scared to death at and in awe of the responsibility of being a father (not that it wasn’t already huge). I’ve tried to be a good dad…now I need to be a good dad more than ever.

Anna turned nine this month. It’s hard to believe that nine years ago she was ripped into this world, three months early and weighing just two pounds. She was a fighter from the beginning, and it’s still in her when she wants something (she’s a leader and an arguer…I’m thinking lawyer, judge or ambassador). In some ways it seems like yesterday I was putting my wedding ring on her arm two hours after she was born, and it went all the way to her shoulder.

Me with Baby Anna (Sept 2001)

Me with Baby Anna (Sept 2001)

I’m a nerd and numbers just pop into my head all the time. She’s nine, and in nine more years we’ll be sending her off to college. What!?!?! My little girl will be a high school graduate in just nine years (God willing). Nine years is not a lot of time. Nine more after that and I’m likely to be a grandfather…sorry, that’s the math talking again…shut up math!

Nine years. A lot of college savings left to do. A lot of trials and struggles to endure. A lot of temptations to prepare for, and boys to chase away with my shotgun (note to self: get a shotgun).

Most importantly, it’s nine years that will shape her into the woman she will become. And as I’m learning from Dr. Meeker’s book, there’s probably no greater influence on her than what kind of man I am. It’s a daunting responsibility. Am I up for it? Not by myself. But I had a pretty good father who modeled well for me, and more than that, I have a Father in Heaven who will be with us both during the journey.

Look for an after trip report in the next few days. In the meantime, I’d love to hear your thoughts on the book or your own experiences as a father or daughter in the comments.

Posted in Family | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Build It and They Will Come…Really?

Posted on 2009-07-30 by

Field of Dreams is a inspiring movie with a great line that everyone who has seen it (and many who haven’t) know by heart: “Build it and they will come.”

But is the real world so simple? Sure, we need to act on faith–but there’s got to be some wisdom in our approach or we’ll march off a cliff!

My friend Kevin Miller from FreeAgentAcademy.com just posted a great blog post about finding an audience for your idea before investing a ton of time and money.

[By the way, I'm planning on attending the next Free Agent Academy Round Table in September. If anyone is interested in going, let me know and I can get you a special invitation price.]

It all boils down to moving forward with a plan. Fail to plan and you’re blindly hoping for the best. How many gamblers and would-be internet millionaires are now paying off hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt because they had the next great idea…and it bombed!

If you’re like me the ideas fly through your head so fast you can hardly write them down before the next one comes along. If I acted on them all, I’d be starting something new everyday, broke, depressed and a full-time failure.

After documenting the idea on any scrap of paper or computer screen I have with me, my first step is to walkaway and breathe. I have to have the discipline to stop and evaluate the ideas, let them form some substance and get some feedback. Most of the time, the ideas are novel, but not profitable (in time or money).

But there are gems in this noggin of mine. I’m polishing a few right now, and WoosleyCoaching.com is just the beginning.

So what about you? Are you full of ideas, or do you struggle to formulate anything? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

[Warning, this post came about from a last minute idea. It cost me about 15 minutes I could have spent sleeping. Hope it's worth it!]

Posted in Ideas | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

The $224,000 Speeding Ticket

Posted on 2009-07-26 by

Imagine being just 0.11 mph over the speed limit and it ends up costing you $244,000. That’s exactly what happened in Indianapolis today.

No, it wasn’t on the highway…it was on the speedway. The Indianapolis Motor Speedway. And the driver was not happy about it at all.

Juan Pablo Montoya, former Indy 500 winner was leading the Brickyard 400 when he was caught speeding on pit road. His penalty cost him the race, and the extra $244,000 he would have earned had he won. Read about it here.

So what’s the lesson here and how does it apply to your life and mine?

1. Even in the go fast world of auto racing, there are rules that must be followed. If you don’t, it will cost you.

On the race track the cars can go as fast as the drivers and teams can make them go (within the other rules for engines, etc.). At speeds exceeding 200 mph, you wouldn’t think 0.11 would make that be a difference. But on pit road, safety matters, and going too fast endangers the crews and race officials. Sorry Juan…the computers got you on this one.

2. Push the limits, but don’t cross a line unless you’re willing to face the consequences.

At Indy, NASCAR mandates that the pit road speed limit is 55 mph, but gives an additional 5 mph buffer zone to account for variables like avoiding other cars and whatnot. Juan, like all drivers, was pushing the limit as hard as possible, because it’s much easier to pass cars with a fast pit stop than it is on an old, flat race track.

Juan was leading the race with a five second lead…huge in a sport where tens or even hundredths of a second matter. In pushing so hard to maximize his time, he crossed the line. It cost him the race.

We all need margin in our lives. Race car drivers are supposed to live on the edge–they can’t do their jobs properly unless they do so. But the smart ones know when to ride and when to race!

We are faced with choices everyday. Choices that approach lines in our lives. Choices to lie, steal or cheat. Be careful how close you put yourself to those lines, and be prepared for what happens should a “gust of wind” force you onto the other side.

3) Do things differently when you’re the leader.

Juan had a five second lead. He had margin, room to breathe. There was no need to push the limits. It was a hefty price. But he’s not thinking about the money as he tries to go to sleep tonight. The money is nice, but racers race to win. Winning or losing that race meant more to him than the paycheck waiting for him.

Breathe a little as the leader. Don’t get complacent or cocky, but lead with confidence because you have the advantage of your margin. Imagine driving your car down a narrow, winding country road. It’s tight, but it’s fun whipping through those sweeping corners. Now trade your car for a moving truck…a big, wide, heavy, stiff moving truck. The road is the same, but your margin for error has been reduced.

4) Monday starts a new week.

As much as we sometimes hate Monday’s, they are a chance for a fresh start. Juan Montoya can feel bad about losing the race for a little while, but there’s another race on the schedule that he has to prepare for. If he can’t let it go and learn the lessons from his mistake, he won’t stand much of a chance at winning next weekend.

You have to start over from your failures too. You have to pick yourself up when you get knocked down. Can you do that? Can you CHOOSE to do that?

Hope you have a great Monday!

Any thoughts? Leave a comment!

Posted in Lessons Learned | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

New Years Resolutions…in July?

Posted on 2009-07-25 by

More than half the year is over. When was the last time you thought of your new years resolutions? January? Maybe February? Starting a new year is a great excuse to set some goals. It’s a fresh start. But that fresh start grows stale very fast. And when you realize that New Years Day is an arbitrary date for goal setting…why not decide to set some goals today? Nothing is holding you back from setting your goals except yourself. Why wait five more months for the New Year?

A goal properly set is halfway reached. -Zig Ziglar

So how do you properly set your goals? Effective goals have several components:

They must be specific.
I want to lose 10 pounds is a better goal than I want to lose weight. Which one do you think is more motivating and likely to get done?

They must be measurable.
What is the point of a goal if you don’t know when you’ve accomplished it? Saying you want to lose weight doesn’t cut the mustard! Is the goal met if you lose just one pound, or when you lose 100?

They must be time sensitive.
This means you can just say you want to lose 10 pounds at some ethereal point in the future. You must put a deadline on your goals and then drive toward that deadline.

You must take ownership of your goals.
This is probably the most important, at least in terms of personal motivation. I can’t set your goals for you. I may make suggestions, or help you define it, but if you don’t take ownership, it probably won’t happen.

Weight loss goals make great examples, because most people could stand to shed a few pounds or knows someone who wants to. But the goal setting process applies to all areas of your life. Want to get out of debt? Get a new job? Go on an adventure vacation? Stop dreaming and start setting goals…then make them happen!

I’m challenging you to set some goals, right now. Would you share them with me in the comments? Putting them in writing (even in digital form!) makes them that much more likely to be accomplished!

I look forward to hearing from you, and even more so to hearing about some accomplishments!

Comments are open!

Posted in Goals | Tagged , | Leave a comment

High Flying Habits

Posted on 2009-07-18 by

I’m writing today from seat 18A on a Delta flight out of Reagan-National airport in Washington, DC. Fortunately, I’m heading home instead of leaving. It’s always a good feeling to go home.

I used to fly a lot—nearly every week for almost five years. In that time I learned about airport security (Sept 11, 2001 was five months after I began my travels) and the value of frequent flyer programs. I learned all of the tricks to getting good seats and which airports to use or avoid, how to get better rental cars and how to pick a good hotel. In five years of constant travel, I developed a series of habits that made the travel easier.

A little over three years ago, I stopped flying and got a job closer to home that allowed me to drive instead. It was a different routine and different habits developed.

Last year I flew only four times and had gone more than two years without getting on an airplane. This year is half over and I’ve only flown twice. I may have another trip or two pop up before the year is over, and I enjoy it.

Looking back on this trip, I can see that I easily recalled and applied the lessons learned from five years of weekly flying. It wasn’t as difficult to deal with a six hour delay and arriving at 1 am. I learned long ago that those things happen and you have to remain both flexible and patient (qualities I don’t naturally possess).

I guess my point is that I developed habits as a result of my routine. And even after several years, I could tap into that knowledge and instantly benefit. Life is the same way.

If you’ve slacked off on your workouts, it’s easier to get started again if you have had times in the past when you exercised consistently for a significant period of time. It’s much hard to get going if you’ve never done it before.

If you’ve never lived on a budget, doing so can be frustrating and constricting. It’s not fun. But just as you know that exercise is good for you and will make your muscles sore for a while, doing a budget is the right thing to do for your future and the financial stability of your family. It will be difficult and it will hurt. You’ll want to quit, and if you do you’ll lose the benefits.

However, if you do a budget for a while and push through the pain, you’ll learn to make it work. If it becomes a habit, deeply ingrained by your routine, you’ll be able to push through the difficult times (job losses, unexpected expenses, economic downturns, etc.). That future pain won’t be nearly as difficult if you prepare today.

So what are you going to start doing today—even if it’s difficult—in order to have a better or more productive tomorrow? What books will you read? What plans will you make? What habits will you develop? What goals will you set?

If you have questions, just post a comment or use the Ask James form. I’d be happy to help. Of course, I’ll have to wait for the plane to land first!

Posted in Habits | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment